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Urban Retreat

Posted on 2007.04.29 at 22:13
Drawn between the lines of a construction zone and the train tracks is my
neighborhood park.

There are grills and benches, big shade trees, new playground equipment
And it has brightly colored water sprinklers on soft padded ground..

Water springs and splashes out from a myriad of contraptions.. buckets
spin and pour.. jets shoot up to the sky... water spins down from
above... Circus rings run through the center, spraying water into a

There is a near panic in the air as wild kids dart past each other in
euphoric near collisions, throwing cups of water in each other's faces
then disappearing back into the crowd of bodies.
Alliances are won and lost as the war for water receptacles wages on.

A fat girl hovers too long over the water jets with her eyes rolling
back into her head and no parent noticing.

Toddlers barely escape death as rowdy teenage boys throw off their shirts
and drag teenage girls into the water...
One girl tries frantically to cover her hair with a grocery sack as four
boys toss her into the streams.

Two cherubs of about four years old stand obliviously naked in the middle
of everything. One pisses down her leg. I pretend not to notice.

The day wears on... and a birthday party with it's jump house and pinatas
is coming to an end... apartment gypsies drive their cars onto the
park lawn to pack up the chairs and tables. A camping tent comes down too.
The ground is covered in soda cans, paper plates, and candy wrappers.

A mother stands her baby up on the picnic table where I am sitting and
shamelessly lets her diaper flop with a wet thud onto the concrete behind
me. Then walks off, leaving it there.

Perhaps they don't know any better, or perhaps they don't care.

Maybe this is why the home owners associations voted at the city council meetings
to tear down my apartments and rezone
for upscale shops that charge six dollars for wheat juice

The sky is getting dark... and the park is getting quiet.
A dad is napping on the slide.

I sit and watch a sparrow eating a cookie and ponder the dietary and
evolutionary changes of sparrows. I notice a woman approach me with two
tiny dogs, I move my foot aside so they can pass, she turns and jokingly
asks if I am avoiding her. I half laugh and look at her.. she stares
back.. Waiting for something more.. I ask her gently if I should know her
as I search her face... it says I should, but she says no and continues
on her way.. Maybe she knew me from work, I saw a thousand faces a week there.
I look back for the sparrow, but he moved on too.


icecristol at 2007-04-30 12:12 (UTC) (Link)
Keep this one.

I dont wanna give you a critique, hate it when I get them-- but a lot of your writing seems like you tried too hard to convey a feeling..

THIS one-- cuts right to it.

This one is actually, in my opinion, damn fantastic.

And its better writing than most journalists Ive been reading in the Dallas Morning News.
sakura_in_oct at 2007-04-30 20:54 (UTC) (Link)
I always enjoy reading your posts when you are in the mood to write prose. You have a way with words that never ceases to make me smile. Keep up the good work and sorry for not congratulating you on your marriage sooner, but I honestly didn't know, sorry hun.
border_autist at 2007-05-01 00:18 (UTC) (Link)
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